Lessons in love…
If you have been following my blogs, I am sure you have realised by now there isn’t really a flow. I am writing from my heart, with passion and hopefully wisdom with whatever I am feeling at that time. It could be trust, adventure, motherhood, lessons, love or sorrow. All these mixed emotions make up the experience of being a full human. And in this time of social media saturation where we as humans, are left wondering what is real and what is not, I’ve decided to be as real, honest and vulnerable as I can be, so here we go…
As we all know trusting our gut instinct and stepping out into the world takes courage to fight that fear of the unknown. I have come to realise as we get older, if we don’t tap into those unconscious fears and face them head on, for sure they are going to crop up always in our lives. Different mask, different story but same life lesson.
I can honestly say, with a smile inside my heart that some of my biggest life lessons have been in the passionate, crazy story of romantic LOVE. As anyone as a mumma knows, the unconditional love you have for your child is different than that of your love to your partner. You have all the mirrors, the passion, the expectations, and all the projections. Add on top of that SEX, and all the different feelings experienced by two totally different people sharing such an intimate encounter.
In my 20’s I had a few intense long, relationships, but I always walked away in the end. I guess my love for life itself, and my hunger for the excitement of the unknown made me impossible to tie down!!! My longest relationship at that time was with my beautiful, simple, Australian surfer boy who was a carpenter. I was with him for six years from the age of 22 to 28. We were best friends. I met him through mutual friends, he was from Sydney, I was a Sunshine Coast girl. We enjoyed a night of unbridled passion when we first met, and the next day he flew back to Sydney. One year later we met up again through our mutual friends and our fate was sealed.
We had great moments, travelling around Australia together in our kombi with our dog. We did a round the world ticket together for one year, through Africa, Europe and Asia. We then settled back in the Northern beaches of Sydney and it was all about career, getting ahead and in his eyes settling down to have children. Leaving him was one of the hardest decisions I ever had to make at that time in my life. Everyone saw us as the perfect couple and even though our relationship was solid, healthy and committed for me it just wasn’t enough. Deep down I was yearning for something more… I could not lie to myself. And even though I knew I had to make that break, I was finding it so hard as it was my little safety net. So much comfort and security in our connection.
So on I went each day, putting off the inevitable until a sexy, exotic Brazilian sent me white orchids with a love letter to my place of employment, and then that big door of karma and destiny was opened.